we walked among the trees

it was an opportunity

the kind you get once in your life

to leave the past behind

he doesnt look at me the way he used to

I feel desperate, I don't know how to fix this

help me

don't you let me go tonight

I've decided to move. If not now, then when?

My muscles hurt but I'm proud of them.

I'm choosing happiness. How many people have that choice?

Nervous for tomorrow.

make your eyes break

sing it out

make an earthquake

I need a natural disaster to shake me out of this stasis. Ennui.

There are so many things I want. Like a bed frame, treasures chests for my clothes, a purpose, a five year plan, to get nervous and excited and flutters and to cry and mean it, to create, but actually more to create and be acknowledged, to feel pride, to change all my titles, better abs, friends, truth.

When you're little, everyone tells you that you're special, that you're going to be great. But the majority of people are mediocre, just part of the crowd. It's like not wanting to be yellow but to be saffron.

I might be crazy. I might be imagining the disdain.