im just waiting on you

to bring yourself to justice.

i've been really stupid lately. why do i even bother crossing off calendars. all my margins are covered with them. its already six and my homework is untouched. everything still smells like pee. my portfolio is meaningless. my teacher check marked all the ones she think are profound and finished. she picked all the ones about us falling apart.

im guessing we wandered too close to the water

the currents been sweeping us in.

I should cut down my caloric intake

I should go to sleep hungry

and wake up with my guts

knotted up and ears open

like a burnt down hut.

if colors can change, then i can change fate.
i still don't know why i can't sleep.
its nice to be loved though.

yours is a funeral I'd fly to from anywhere.

you stay so

I go I go I go

im tired of being the one that goes. i knotted up the ocean tonight. my comfort is clumped lumps. you know what its like when there's that person who's always undoing all the hard stuff? well you know what its like when you have to learn to live without them? i dont like when it all feels so pointless.

the honey and milk are cold.

rolling around

on kitchen floors.

tie my tongue

with pretty bows

with yours.

the weather gods hate me.

evidently i am sinking deeper

deeper.

i made three color egg. but it wasnt as good as my moms.

im happy where i live, im happy where im going on wednesday, but why cant i shake these nerves? i have a bad feeling something is going to go wrong.

im knitting a green scarf, its beautiful and soft.